A good day...in the end

Today started out a little tough. I've not mentioned yet that I battle low thyroid. I've been on medication since the spring of 2006. I need to go back a little further. In late summer/early fall of 2003, I went through my first very serious bout of depression and began taking meds on October 13, 2003. Yes, I remember the date exactly. It was possibly the hardest day of my life. More on that later, perhaps. By March of 2004, my body had built up a resistance to the meds I was taking, and I went through a second, MUCH more serious round of self loathing and suicidal thoughts. It was awful. I'm SO proud, and GRATEFUL to God because as of today, I can say that I am well (still taking meds and most likely will forever) - happy and loving my self and my life. During the depression, though, for the bulk of a year, I only left my house to go to work and stayed in my bed (not an exaggeration) the rest of the day/night/weekends. I became accustomed to being in my bed. It was a friendly place to me...where no one could see how badly I was doing...how lazy I was...how much I TRULY LOVED being in my bed. I lived alone. Who was going to stop me? Certainly not me! Now, I realize that was completely dysfunctional, but then...not so much. Soooooooooooo, moving on with the long story, in 2005, I met my husband. After we'd been living together about 4 months, he said, "Hey. Did you know you sleep WAY more than most people?" I didn't realize that. I had no one with whom to compare my sleeping habits. When he said somthing to me, I had a chance to really anaylize my sleep. I went to bed around 8:30...slept by 9. Got up begrugingly at 7:00 (after the alarm had gone off nearly an hour) saying aloud to myself, "It's ok. You can go back to sleep as soon as you get home." After work, I napped from about 4-6, made dinner, spent time with my (now) husband and then showered and went back to bed. Hmmmm. He was right. That wasn't "normal." So, I saw my beloved doctor and got on thyroid meds and have been much more awake since then. :)

Long story.

The only downfall of my thyroid meds is that they kill (slaughter, strangle, suffocate) my sex drive. My poor, precious husband. He is SO wonderfully patient, but we're still newlyweds (Can you be newlyweds forever? Because I'd really like that!) and he shouldn't have to be. So, a week ago today, I saw a thyroid specialist and began a new medicine called Armour. It's not synthetic, and has different types of hormone in it than synthetic meds do. Since I'm new to it, we're having to experiment with doses to begin with, and I feel I can safely say, 60 mg. is not going to do it. I'm currently sleeping about 12 of the 24 hours in a day...and could definitely sleep more, but I'm forcing myself to get up and get going. We'll see how it goes for another week before I have to call and ask for more. I don't want to jump to conclusions too quickly, but after going through depression, I don't need ANY reason to live in the bed.

Having said ALL that, I missed my 9 and 10 pool classes at the Y this morning because I couldn't get up. Normally, I would've felt so guilty about missing that I couldn't have gone back to sleep, but not today. Today, I just closed my eyes and slept hard.

Now, on anyday other than this, I would have slept until noon or after, gotten up and gone for a heaping fast food lunch - enough to feed at least 2 adults - and napped some more after eating until my husband came hime with dinner - again, enough to feed at least 2 people.

BUT NOT TODAY!!!!!!! GO, ME!

Today, I counted calories (so far, I've had 600) and after being completely defeated by the hard-as-a-rock ground in our front yard, chose to ride 5 miles on our exercise bike and not stop until I'd burned at least half the calories I'd consumed today. Wait, wait, wait...did I say that?!?! YES I DID! And I did it.

And...Thursday nights we have a custom in our house. My husband brings home Japanese food and we watch recorded reality television (Real World/Road Rules Duel 2) and eat together. I've already been online (EARLY this morning when I was up at 5 for no apparent reason) googling the calories in Japanese food. I asked him to order my usual Teriyaki Chicken but without rice. I'll steam my own brown rice for a healthier version. I can have a cup of brown rice for 340 calories and 15 ounces of chicken and veggies for 810 calories (maybe I'll just go with 10 ounces for 540 calories and add a salad, but maybe not). Even with the entire 15 ounces, I will have eaten only 1750 calories today and burned at least 300!

Am I proud of myself? You bet! :)

Are you sure I can't get on the scale again until Monday? I'm so excited to see what it says! Yes. You're right. It will be so worth the wait. :)

P.S. The posting time that shows is off by a little more than 3.5 hours. I was not up at 2 this morning. :)